If you invite a black person to your home for a dinner of fried chicken you are making a racist remark. That’s according to the latest golf scandal involving Tiger Woods and Sergio Garcia.
I lived down south for a long time. There are a lot of restaurants owned by African Americans in Dixie. A lot of them serve fried chicken… damn good fried chicken. By noticing this I am making a racist comment… showing my true colors…. darn, I said, “colors”.
A lot of white Southerners eat fried chicken, it’s kind of a cultural thing…. you know Colonel Sanders and all. So if Sergio Garcia had been having a spat with Bubba Watson and invited him over for fried chicken would that be racist as well?
How about if I invited Italy’s top golfer, Francesco Molinari, over for spagetti? Racist?
Hideki Matsuyama… number 1 in Japan. Hey tomodachi, how about we get together for some sushi?
I could invite Jose de Jesus Rodriguez, Mexico’s highest ranked golfer, over for taco night at the McIntire’s but since he’s only ranked 363 in the world, why bother. Looks like them Mexicans suck at golf…. ooops that was racist twice…
Actually, I think I’d rather invite Rory McIroy down to The Old Goat for a Bud…. if I offered him a Guinness he might punch me in the face.
In England yesterday two Islamist Jihadist savages took a car and ran down an unarmed Englishman, jumped out of the vehicle and hacked him to death with meat cleavers and machetes while politically correct cultural apologists here continue to call Islam a religion of peace.
It’s such a f@#ked up world. I think I’ll head in to work early and pound down a few of the Banquet Beers. You should join me.
Music this weekend; The unrivaled Ryan Wimbish on Friday night for some great Texas Country Music… I might offer him some chili just to piss him off. Saturday night we have Englishman John Hasnip behind the mic…. how about some bangers and mash! that should make his blood boil. And for Thursday night’s Open Mic with Mainah Albert Lord I’ve got Lobstah…. I am such a bigot.
See you at The Goat,
PS. I’m Portuguese so if you really want to offend me offer me Linguica and Balcalhua
PSS. Tomodachi is a Japanese word for “friend”